Stake & Pie
by glitteringhavoc
Summary: Sam & Dean get stuck in a certain slayer's trap. Problem is, they're all hunting the same thing. [Rated K for a curse word.]


"Good job, Dean. Just spectacular. I say the demon went left, so you insist on going right just to be a contradictory asshole. And where did that get us? Oh right. IN A TRAP." Sam wiggled helplessly like a fish on a hook from the tree he had been rigged up on, the bonds wrapped around his feet ensuring that he was unable to get down to the ground. Dean wasn't much better but he was considerably more uncomfortable. Only one of his legs had been snagged, so he was totally off kilter and couldn't stop spinning.

"Shut your pie hole, Sam." Dean bit out in annoyance, voice tight and belying some of the strain his body was feeling.

"Just scope it out, you said. We'll be fine, you said. Now we're stuck in some deranged hillbilly's bear trap!" Dean was just about to snap back with a witty retort but another voice interrupted him.

"I resent that. No hillbilly could rock an outfit like this. I am, however, someone who is exceedingly curious as to what you're doing in my trap." A blond woman in high-heeled red leather boots, black faded jeans, and some sort of would-be biker jacket stepped out from behind a tree. "And answer nicely, or I might have to show you how deranged I can be."

Dean, as Dean was wont to do when confronted by a beautiful woman, grinned like the cat who just spotted the proverbial canary. Sam, as Sam was wont to do when with Dean and confronted with a beautiful woman, rolled his eyes at his brother's antics. Ignoring Dean's attempts at flirtation, the younger Winchester became defensive. "Why should we be nice? You hung us upside down from a tree for over an hour!"

"Actually, this is a restricted wood on private property, as I'm willing to bet you two boys knew already. I had no reason to assume a pair of dunderheads like you might get stuck in my trap. You're trespassing." The blond put both hands on her hips, but not before Sam saw her slip a stake back up her sleeve. What on earth was this irritating trap-making woman doing with a stake? Was she a hunter? Sam squinted at her, trying to get a closer look but having some difficulty from his upside-down vantage point.

"So are you," Sam snarked back. "Unless you're Mr. Birmingham of the Birmingham Global Corporation?"

To Sam's utter disbelief, the blond threw back her head and let loose a full-bellied laugh. "Touché!" She responded cheerfully. "I can see the guns tucked in your waistbands and the knife, which I'm assuming is also yours, on the ground has demon repelling symbols on it. You boys aren't the leshy I'm tracking, are you?"

"What do you know about leshys?" Dean asked with an accusatory tone, all hint of flirtation now gone. If there was one thing to turn Dean off a potential bedding partner, it was them mentioning demons or weapons. The serious edge to his question was hindered somewhat by the fact that he was still spinning, however, and looked utterly ridiculous.

"Male forest spirit with a hankering for wayward travelers of the female variety. Probably what is in these woods and dragging off all those missing lady campers from the last couple of months. What do you know about them?" she directed at Sam.

"Capable of altering their appearance to seem human or even shrink in size. Cry like a banshee that will cause temporary deafness. Eyes glow in the dark. Vindictive suckers with the mentality of mischievous gradeschoolers pulling pranks. They rarely kill their victims, so the campers are probably still alive."

Without bothering to respond, the woman cut down both Winchesters. Completely ignoring Dean, she held out her hand to Sam as soon as he was back on his feet. "Buffy," she introduced.

"Sam," he responded, trying to hide his growing confusion. This woman didn't look like a hunter. At the risk of sounding like some fraud tarot reader, she didn't feel like a hunter either. There was something different about her strength, something that didn't remind Sam of any hunter he had ever known. Her handshake left no doubt that she could easily overpower either Winchester if she chose, yet she wasn't rippling with muscles. It actually reminded Sam a little bit of his first hug from Cas. "And this is my brother, Dean," Sam finally added, but not before Dean none too subtly trod on his foot. Dean extended his hand as well, which Buffy shook.

"Well Sam and Dean, it's been a joy but I should be on my way if I'm to have any chance of making popcorn and movie night later." Without so much as a backwards glance, Buffy turned and began striding confidently out of the clearing.

"Wait!" Dean cried. "Who the hell are you?"

At the same time, Sam couldn't help but ask "What are you?"

She didn't turn, but Buffy did let loose another bubbly laugh. "Slayer comma the. Bye bye now, boys!" She waved once, then kept walking until she was completely out of sight.

"The Slayer? What's a slayer?" Dean asked aloud. "Aside from the obvious, which is a freakishly strong woman that can best a hunter in four inch fucking heels."


End file.
